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Terrance D. Henriksen, Executive Director 14658 Maple DR SE Mentor, Minnesota 56736-9486 |
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What Can We Do When Someone Dies?
When families no longer held wakes in their parlors, Americans soon began finding themselves at a loss when it came time to offer sympathy. Today, many don’t feel comfortable saying anything to survivors. Others stumble over trite phrases. Still others find it more comfortable to stay away and send flowers instead. The following are several suggestions on how to show support for the survivors who have recently lost a love one: · Doing something is important. Doing nothing sends a message of apathy. · Attend the funeral or memorial service. Just seeing you there provides support for the family. Be sure to sign the guest book - sometimes the family cannot remember who attended and your signature in the guest book serves as a reminder of your support. If you don’t know what to say, simply say, “I’m sorry.” · Write a note. Personal notes provide the family with great comfort. They may not be able to read them for several days or even weeks later. When your note is read, however, it reminds the family that you truly care and support them through this difficult time. · Send flowers unless the family specifies otherwise. Flowers at the funeral or memorial service often soften the room. Don’t hesitate to send the flowers to the home. Many families enjoy receiving flowers, and a colorful arrangement brightens any room. · Take food to the home - food is the last thing the family wants to think about after a death. If you don’t cook, stop by a grocery store and pick up some fresh fruit, vegetables or easy-to-serve dishes that will last several days. · Make a contribution. If the family hasn’t specified a specific charity, it is just as meaningful to make a donation to your favorite organization in the name of the deceased. · Offer to help but be specific in your offer. Many times a family really hasn’t thought about what they need as they go through grief. Simply saying, “If there is anything you need, please call me,” leaves the family at a loss. If, however, you see something that you can do for the family - such as mow the lawn, walk the dog, ferry visitors to the airport, or handle home repairs - make a specific offer. · Make a note of the date of death and then honor the anniversary with a note, phone call, or flowers. If you don’t know what to say, a simple quote, “Thinking of you at this time” says it all.
If you have questions, call your local NDFDA funeral director. He or she will be able to help.
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